I’d like to have a word with you. The word is sex.
You’re not a real straight boy if you’ve never fucked a football
made valentines out of the messages men send me on okcupid, check out the rest here
wait this is rad
i have 3 holes and 2 hands so i can totally take on all the members of 1d at the same time
if you’re ever mean to me i’ll seduce your dad and get him to marry me then i’ll be your fucking stepmom and i’ll disable the internet every night at seven pm don’t fucking try me
Reblog if your being fisted right now as you read this
*gets hit by a car* good
dear god above,
i pray to you today because a nigga need some help. if you could please, just this one time, let zayn malik come into my life, my mouth, my ear, my nose, any orifice, even my armpit god. let his dick clog every hole in my body, even my pores, oh lord. let his penis be my main supply of nutrients for everyday, heavenly father. yea though i walk through the valley of the dick of fine ass niggas, oh lord, i will fear no penis, because you are here to strengthen me. let me suck it with the power you gave moses to move the ocean, lord. let me rapture that dick up in my esophagus oh lord. just do this for me, god, and i promise i’ll stop fuckin white boys. i promise.
in beysus name i pray,
look at the little teeth
I may have reblogged this before but that don’t stop me.